Pa-Sapphic Rimjob
by Rafaela Valdez
You know you're having a bad day when you're woke up by your commanding officer pounding on your door in the middle of the night with a fresh pile of emergency reports for you to look over. Seems another monster's attacked the city and chosen your dear sweet sleepy time to do so.

You know it's going to be even worse when the primary concern amongst them is “Giant Monster Woman #8891 won't stop trying to mate with phallic building. Leaves behind slimy trail of you-know-what on the windows; is a bitch to clean.” Siofra was not one easily shook up or disgusted, but even she shook her head, laughed in her half-asleep state, and mumbled about how that's a new one and she wonder who taught them this one weird trick.

Coffee cup in hand, swirling in place, Siofra took the reports and dragged herself out to the meeting hall in a bathrobe, meeting up with Millia on the way and giving her a look like 'can you even believe this shit' and scratching her ass in front of her. Being Colonel came with its perks, like showing off your ample tight butt to the ladies at will, even if it had a bunch of robe bunched up in it. The scrubs in charge of such dangerous tasks as delivering reports and waking the mighty Siofra were used to her grossness; it was oddly refreshing and honest and gave them something to aspire to.

Once there, they spoke with the General in charge for the area and were debriefed. The monster was still around, lurking somewhere, enjoying the attention of the puny humans who dared to look upon her slit as it fucked a nearby skyscraper. However, that one wasn't satisfying, and last everyone knew she was looking for a bigger, wider target that would go deeper and last longer. She appeared to be covered in dark green scales with large fangs and menacing claws, completely naked and fleshy otherwise, with thick plates down her back and massive club-like tail. Siofra lovingly nicknamed her the Slutasaurus Rex.

“Doesn't sound like I'm gonna get anymore sleep, not when there's an unsatisfied woman around.” sneered Siofra. “Trust me, I know this from plenty of experience. Millia, go prep the Battle Bikini, we have work to do and monsters to lay!”

“...Do you mean slay, Colonel?” asked Millia, sounding a wee bit nervous.

“Did I sound like I meant to say slay? Did I stutter? You heard me, so get going or it's 50 laps around the armory with you, missy!” commanded Siofra, pointing out the window at the blinking lights of the buildings that dotted the metropolis sky. “We must protect these people at all costs! And, well, that monster was once a person too, right? We should...We should try to end this peacefully. Our flames bring victory but our hearts bring peace!”

Siofra teared up a bit at her heroic speech, hand over her heart, trying her best to look proud, but really all she could think about was how sad it was that poor poor monster couldn't find herself a sizable mate. That was a fate she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

A few of the privates began to tear up as well, their hearts filled with the mighty mercy that Siofra poured forth from every inch of her. They couldn't even speak; their throats choking up as tears and snot ran down their fresh young faces, giving a hearty salute to their Colonel and trying to stand tall and proud. What a woman to work under. What a person. Truly, the greatest part of her was her forgiveness, for she knew the greatest pain of all was a cold, lonely bed at night. She was one of them, a warrior for the common man.

Millia stared at this spectacle a minute before running off to get the Battle Bikini into battle-ready status. It was easy to see why her Colonel commanded the popularity she did. And now was the perfect time to defend that reputation and show the whole of Neo-Tanjil what they were made of. No matter what kind of a mess this ended in, at least it'd end and the city could sleep soundly once more knowing they were under their ever-watchful eyes and ever-lustful loins.

The Battle Bikini was a proud war mech, shaped vaguely like a woman in naught but fur bikini wielding a massive titanium-shafted battleaxe, the edges made of the best steel money can afford, reinforced with carbon all the way down. Siofra designed it herself, saying it was “totally metal” and “Who wouldn't want to be wrestled by that? Besides gay dudes that is. But since when do I bother them?” The army was wise to leave out her original plan's ideas to include a flamethrower in the mouth, citing that too much collateral damage would occur, but their real reason was No Fucking Way, Siofra. And don't even ask about the vagina laser cannon she wanted, either.

Starting it up involved a complicated series of commands, meant to imitate the groaning sounds of a woman being pounded in bed, with it finally starting up and roaring in might and happiness, lights dazzling from its robo-nipples as Millia reluctantly took control of the navigator's seat and had it pick up its weapon. She slid on a headset, microphone flipped open, and called Siofra in on her communicator.

“The Battle Bikini's ready to fight when you are, Colonel.” she said, doing her best to sound professional.

“Ahem.” replied Siofra as she began to run down the halls down to the armory.

“What is it, Colonel?”

“You know damn good and well what it is! Say the line.”

“.....Anything but that, please.”

“SAY IT, LIEUTENANT!”

“....The Battle Bikini's ready to cum when you are, Colonel.” mumbled Millia, her face turning bright red, lips curling around her teeth in embarrassment.

“THAT'S more like it, Lieutenant! Let's get this show on the road!” laughed Siofra, sliding on down and making a grand leap onto the mecha's shoulder and posing, one hand on her chin and the other pointing upwards. The mech slowly began to roll its feet up and out towards the exit dock, Siofra grinning and waving at everyone to encourage them as she rode on by, teeth showing wide as she smiled, waiting until the mech was fully out and the moonlight shone upon it and her before asking Millia to raise the hatch and let her inside the fighter's seat.

“Yeah! Are you ready to lick some ass, Lieutenant?” asked Siofra, flipping her headset on and staring outside hungrily, looking for any tell-tale signs of the monster girl that had been by earlier and drooling down her front.

“....Don't you mean 'kick so--'” Millia started to say, sighing. “Yeah. I am. I guess I'm not just as experienced as you are in this, is all.”

“Awww, is my little Lieutenant scared? Should I discipline you thoroughly? See me after class, missy!” laughed Siofra as she flipped on a tracking light and pointing towards the middle of the business district. “Let's head out there, first! I can smell the excitement from over here already!”

“...You know everyone can hear us over our comm system, right?” Millia thought to herself, just nodding and driving out that way. The only people behind after the evacuation order was given out were people who liked to watch, risking their lives to enjoy a free show instead of risking their wallets peeking in through a brothel window. Some just liked it bigger.

Once they arrived on the scene of the sex-crime, Siofra commanded Millia park the mech and let her out, asking a hand to be raised next to a slimy building. The Colonel made her way along the arm and onto the palm of the steel hand, poking and prodding at the building and the goo that covered it in her gloved hands, sniffing at it as she pulled it up towards her nose. That was definitely a familiar, musky, sour-sweet scent, and a curious taste test proved what had been reported all along; that was definitely monster girl cum from a fresh, ripe monster cunt soaking this poor office building, and they'd need to obtain some samples for safekeeping, but not before Siofra blushed and grinned, smearing it all over her and delighting in a few more handfuls to smell and lap up. Sticky and delicious.

“Yeah, that's the good stuff. Alright, Milia, get the containers out and I'll pull the scraping dagger out and get us some monster DNA loaded in. I'm sure the guys back at the lab will appreciate what we're getting them, if you know what I mean.” said Siofra, getting back in and making the whole cockpit reek of monster cum.

The two worked quickly but diligently, getting enough in to fill a few wide containers full of it, knowing that anything would help in their research to combat the monster girls that now plagued their city so. No matter how vile it was or how embarrassing, they would bring something back every time to ensure that their future missions were that much easier. Besides, that's what the showers were for back at the barracks. Some unlucky private would get the job of getting every last dried sticky bit out from between the seams of the seats. It builds character.

“D'ya think it'll show back up tonight?” asked Siofra.

“Who knows....” replied Millia. “All we've found is this, er, pile of ah, bodily matter. Maybe she's asleep; it is late after all.”

“Yeah but you know what they say: Evil never sleeps! So neither shall I! Nor you! We are the hope of the people, and it is my promise to them that I will see this demon properly exhausted and spent!” snorted the Colonel, eyes wide with anticipation.

“....You forgot to fap before you slept again, didn't you?” asked Millia, hand covering her microphone so nobody would listen in on it.

“You could tell, huh?”

“Well yeah, I can smell it all over you, and not just the junk you got off that monster. Seriously, check your pants.”

Siofra looked down and lo and behold, a mighty stain was appearing fast between her legs. No wonder she was feeling oddly warm and tingly all over; she had thought she was just tired or hungry or something. Turns out her mind and body had enjoyed that little tasting session a bit more than she would like to have admitted. Her chest tightened a bit as she noticed it, nipples perking up under her pilot's suit, turning even more red as she grinned and wiggled excitedly in her chair.

“Hey, well what do you know!” Siofra quickly covered her microphone as well, grinning down at her lieutenant and waggling her eyebrows, finger running across her own freckled face. “Psst, if things get dull around here, wanna help me take care of this rapidly developing problem in the nether regions of the city?”

“C-Colonel! Y-you're so bold!” blushed Millia, flailing a bit and trying her best to avoid eye contact. “Don't you have two hands?”

“Yeah but they need to be on this big ol' shaft I'm swinging around, all thick and strong. You got a mouth on you, don't you? You know these mechs rely on the energy given out by their pilots for fuel anyways, wouldn't a nice orgasm give us plenty to power through the night? It's not like I wouldn't return the favor later!” pleaded Siofra, pouting a bit.

“Tch. A-aye, my Colonel. If you need it. But only then! And shut off the damn comm system, first!”

“Aww, don't wanna put on a show for everyone? I'll oblige, it's never my intent to upset a lady, after all. I'd much rather---”

Siofra was interrupted; a sudden jolting vibration shook the Battle Bikini, prompting them back into combat ready positions, grabbing onto the axe and looking around. Bam. Bam. A few more and the feet of something huge and mighty came into play, followed by a mighty roar. One look up revealed the Slutasaurus Rex from the reports, standing just a head or two taller than the mech, naked and glorious and strong as could be, a feral look in her eyes as she returned to where she once fucked.

“Oh, she's here! We'll fool around later, Lieutenant! Get ready for evasive maneuvers and I'll get us in swinging as hard as I can!” commanded Siofra, her tone going from playful to serious in one go. The only thing that got her more excited in life than sex was a good, long fight.

The monster came into view in all her naked and scaled glory, the search lights from the Battle Bikini immediately focusing on her and shining speckles off her massive green scales that plated her on her arms and legs and back and around her gigantic monster tits and tail, a pair of horns on either side of her head jutting backwards with a few thick plates lining her spine. Tell-tale signs of stretching lay below on her cunt, from where it once tried to accommodate the girth of that building Siofra had just been happily smearing herself against. A few drops of her monstrous cum still trickled on her skin by her thighs, happily clinging to the greenish hairs that danced above her gigantic dino-clit, and her tits sat upon her bigger than any brothel lobby Siofra had ever stepped into. And this city had some pretty huge, fancy brothels.

All at once, she reared her head back at let out a roar reminiscent of beasts and demons only heard of in terrible black and white films shown down at the local dime theater on Tuesdays. It stood its ground and stared oddly at the Battle Bikini, grumbling and grunting, unable to form words or communicate beyond pointing with sharp fingernails and a wag from her massive, muscled tail. A few of her groans maybe kind of sounded like German or Russian, but hell if Siofra knew any of that. Maybe she was a tourist monster.

“Aha, the Slutasaurus Rex! We finally meet! How dare you interrupt this beautiful metropolis and its working class citizens as they just try to do their patriotic duty and make their money and go home to their families and drink their scotch and have their sex? How dare you wreck the rest of Colonel Whelan, the city's top knight, and special ops member of The Holy Order of the Hot Irons? And my poor, cute little Lieutenant needs her sleep, too, or she won't grow up big and strong, either! Your days are numbered, foul temptress, for it is I who shall burn brighter than your loins!” spoke Siofra from her cockpit, cackling and drooling in excitement.

Nothing but silence came from the monster as she leered ever curious at the Battle Bikini, shifting her head and eying it up and down. What a curious being this was shouting at her.

“You're lucky that I'm so chivalrous and going to give you one chance to apologize and go home and behave! If not, it's throw-down time, and I know exactly where I'm giving you a second axe wound, so, come on, go home! Shoo!” Siofra continued.

With that, the monster grew more playful than apologetic, placing a hand on the mech and sniffing at it. What an odd smell, what an odd, cold feeling it had to every bit of it. But at the same time it was so nice and smooth. Her tail wagged as she pulled her other arm around the mech and hugged it close to her bosom, nuzzling it and smiling, feeling warm all over as she rubbed the steel plating against her flesh and snorted.

The two pilots inside jumbled around a bit as the monster grabbed hold and squeezed tight. Siofra just kind of stared, slackjawed, at the beast's reaction. Her own girlboner still sat half up, the monitors only able to display an ample serving of lizardy tits. Not a bad view at all if she did say so herself. Millia sighed.

“Hey, Colonel. What the heck are we going to do? I think she thinks the Battle Bikini is her friend or a fellow monster or something. I mean, I'm no naturalist or anything, but---” Millia was cut off by a sudden rocking of the mecha, jolting both of them around again. A few seconds later it rocked again, and again, and again. “---Turning on the external side monitors and assessing the damage. Just what on Earth?”

The view on Siofra's screens changed from the buffet of monster boobs to what appeared to be the crotch and leg portions of the Slutasaurus Rex grinding against the leg of the Battle Bikini. The pilot just stared in awe for a bit, trying her best not to crack up. “Hey, Millia, look! It thinks we're sexy! Ahh, how am I gonna deal with this one? I bet everyone back at the base is recording this one to laugh at again and again! I know I would be! But still, hey, it's not bad technique! Even I'm getting a bit excited watching her work!”

“This isn't happening.” Millia thought to herself as she watched Siofra unzip her uniform a bit and wiggle a hand into her pants. “This really isn't happening. Oh gods, I just want to go home. I just want to sleep. Go away. No. I don't want to be a background character in a cheap monster porno! This isn't what I wanted when I signed up for the military! Oh, forgive me, mother!”

Siofra just laughed and continued to leer, figuring that this free show from outside could help rid her of that annoying, prodding arousal she'd had down below a while now. Stupid tasty monster girl cum. Stupid sexy giant tits. What she wouldn't give to be that building or that side of the mech and feel a slick cunt bigger than her try to engulf her and drown her happily in the sweet, salty juices of lust. Her fingers began to grace her own slick lips as she palmed her clit and stuck her tongue out, panting a bit as she watched every single movement the monster made in exquisite detail. Her eyes were wide and sharp as she drooled and stuck a few fingers inside of herself, toying around from side to side as she stroked her red-hot clit up to down and back again, over and over, riding against her hand with her hips circling and bucking, putting immense pressure on everything.

“Come on, you sick fuck of a beast! Fuck my stupid mech harder, yeah! You know you like it, you dumb Slutasaurus! I'll give you my steel-hard axe shaft and we'll see how much of a stupid lizardy whore you are, eh?” said Siofra, half delirious, pushing buttons and tabs so that the hands of the mech would adjust and put the axe standing at its side vertically, as if offering a hungry streetwalker her own hard, sweaty cock.  “Get on it, I want something staining my gorgeous, thick, steely handle to remember you by!”

As she commanded, the giant lizardy woman helped herself to the end of the axe, rubbing her own fat wide vagina over it and easily getting about half of it in her, Siofra playing with the controls a bit to wiggle it around in and out, her other hand busy thumbing at her clit in circles as she sat back and spread her legs, leaking downwards as she edged closer to a beautiful release. Gods, did she envy her own weapon; she'd have to issue a special command to not clean it for a while and let it soak in permanently. Maybe coat another layer of polish on top to lock it in. The monster groaned in delight as she got a free ride, spilling and gushing forth a tremendous pile of thick, semi translucent, sour, salty beast cum, coating at least half the Battle Bikini along with leaving a nice layer upon the axe's shaft, roaring as loud and long as she could in delight.

Siofra began to cum as she watched her target writhe from her assault. Her body just bucked and squirmed deep in her seat as she soaked her hand and wiped it on her pants, grinning and panting long hot breaths as she felt sore and tender and fulfilled. Not only was she satisfied, but so was the monster, watching it get up and wave goodbye with a flush across its cheeks and tits, walking off long and far, back to whence it came, no longer wishing to disturb the civilians as she had gotten more than what she had originally come for. And hey, it beat cleaning up severed limbs and blood and such from the windows of neighboring businesses for the next few weeks.

“My my, what a naughty monster that was! See, I told you she just needed a better playmate. I'd say that's a mission accomplished, so let's head back to base and sleep in until lunch. I think we earned a day off.” smirked Siofra, wiping her hair back and zipping back up, sighing in happiness as she tapped on Millia's shoulder below. “Come on, missy, let's drive the Battle Bikini back. You did good. The citizens of Neo-Tanjil will sleep soundly and work wonderfully once more. Justice has been served and nary a drop of blood spilled! Mercy be upon us all, the heroes save the day again!”

Millia just nodded, eyes focusing solely on the road ahead of her, face glowing red, ashamed of what she just saw and heard. This wasn't the first time they'd eliminated a monster this way and it probably wouldn't be the last, but it never made the act of screwing with nature's mutants an easy one. Maybe, someday, if she could get over herself she could learn to participate and have fun with it too, but for now she'd remain Siofra's favorite prude to tease.

Siofra would proceed to have long, detailed dreams about her sweet Slutasaurus Rex, hoping that she'd come by to visit her and the mech again. That's one thing she wouldn't mind tangling with again. And again. And again.